Some days are good and some…. well not so much. Often times I find myself more frustrated with myself than the other people around me. When I have issues with the boys I tend to blame it on myself. When Richard is stressed about work and then comes home and is stressed at home, I feel that I need to figure out a way to fix it. But what I get frustrated the most about right now is the lack of change I see in myself.
Part of the challenge of most women is the need to feel balance. Guess what… you can’t! Life isn’t balanced. There is no way to balance everything in life… it just is impossible. There are too many things pulling in too many directions. We just need to all agree to stop searching for this phantom. Then maybe then we will be able to find the new happiness in life.
Most of the time I’m pretty good about saying Oh well this is where I’m at a this is what I’ve got done. I remind myself that my kids are fed, clothed, healthy and for the most part happy. I remind myself that Richard and I have a great relationship and that everything doesn’t have to fall on my shoulders.
So often I feel like everything has to be done NOW. The house must be perfect. I must workout every day. I must cook a homemade meal. I must dress nice, do my hair and make myself look put together (or my version of put together). But guess what… none of these things will make or break life.
If the house isn’t perfect, my family can still function. If I serve leftovers or we eat out or the kids have to make their own meals… no one will go hungry. If I don’t like put together perfectly people won’t assume I can’t do it.
I have always said “Love me or hate me that’s your choice”, but I’ve often had a hard time translating that beyond my personality. I need to transfer that feeling to the rest of my life. I’m not perfect, I never will be perfect and I’m ok with that.